Question:
A good, longtime friend of the family has expressed interest in adopting Ripley. I'm seriously considering letting her have him... I feel terrible just considering it, but I really think he'd be happier with her. He ADORES his "Auntie Jeanne" and she adores him just as much.
Jeanne and her husband are retired, she has no other pets but has a lot of experience with small dogs. She doesn't mind vocal dogs, is willing to take her dog everywhere on a leash, and she and her husband would both spoil him rotten and give him everything that I can't. I always thought Ripley would do well as an "only child" with someone who would spend all their time with him.
She's so much better for him than I am. I know I would have no regrets about letting him go to her, she has babysat him before and the two really love each other. Jeanne loves him for what he is and unlike me, isn't going to try to change him. She WANTS a dog just like Ripley. She doesn't have a problem with the behaviors that I consider "issues". He wouldn't live the rest of his life being trained to be something he can't/doesn't want to be.
I always told myself that I would never give Ripley up, but what should I do in this situation? I know this isn't something that you guys can really answer but I am torn and I guess I just need to vent more than anything. She's just better than me, he would be happier with her. I know how much she loves him, but I love him too . . . :'(
I just want to do the right thing for him.
I do have a question, though. His breeder asked me to give her the option of first refusal after she sold him to me. I was not given a copy of the contract and have forgotten if it was written (i was 13 when I bought him) that I HAD to give him back to her. After all the lying and scamming she did, I don't feel that I could trust her within 50 feet of Ripley.... I know if I were a breeder I would want my puppy back but this woman is a CROOK and I don't want her to even touch my dog. As I don't have a copy of the contract and don't know if I signed my agreement to give him back to her, is it acceptable to allow someone else to adopt him?
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I would be torn too, but I would go with your heart...and do whatever is best for ripley AND yourself..((hugs)) Whatever you decide I will support your decision
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Ripley I think would enjoy being an "only" child...
It is a hard decision, but you'd still get to see him, right?
You will ultimately make the decision that's right for Ripley :) It sounds as though maybe this is the right thing...
*hugz* Ripley I'm sure will be happiest with whichever decision you make.
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Thanks Jess, Cadence. :)
Yes I will still be able to see him, babysit him etc. It won't be often, as Jeanne lives in Idaho and I am only in ID during the summers, but I will still see him and we would keep in touch regularly. I'd also have her agree to return him to me if she couldn't keep him for any reason.
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I'm proud of you though RD... Even just thinking about this makes me think even more of you as a responsible, caring, dog owner. As I said before it's hard to admit that your dog may be happier elsewhere, but we all know it's not because you don't take care of him or he doesn't love your or vice versa. Ripley I just think enjoys being the centre of attention, hence "His Ripliness" LOL, Maybe someone that would cater to that would be best for him.
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Honestly, it does sound like Jeanie would be the best option for him, especially after your thread about him barking around company. You sound like a very social person, whereas it appears Jeanie's place is quieter. And you just know that His Ripleyness would adore having all the attention centered solely on him and his every whim!
I wouldn't even bother giving Rip's breeder a call since she screwed you over so many different ways.
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If you signed a contract at 13 with the "breeder" I would just ignore that and do what you think is best for Ripley.
And if the beeder gets huffy about you decision kick her in the shins.
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I'm proud of you though RD... Even just thinking about this makes me think even more of you as a responsible, caring, dog owner. As I said before it's hard to admit that your dog may be happier elsewhere, but we all know it's not because you don't take care of him or he doesn't love your or vice versa. Ripley I just think enjoys being the centre of attention, hence "His Ripliness" LOL, Maybe someone that would cater to that would be best for him.
The woman took the worgs right outta my mouth! You know what is best for yourself and His Highness...do that and know that Chazzers will support you fully! :)
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Aww thank you, guys. Your support means a lot to me. I'm getting sooo many mixed signals from most of my friends, some are simply disgusted that I'd consider placing him with someone else and other (incredibly shallow) people are saying "oh yeah, get rid of him.. then you can get the puppy you've been wanting!"
I also feel bad that I WOULD be getting another dog after him. I feel guilty that I could even consider rehoming one dog and getting another afterwards. I am not rehoming him so I can get another dog, but I would be adopting a dog (probably a shelter pup) if Ripley went to live Jeanne.
Maybe I'm getting too ahead of myself, we haven't even finalized anything. Gawd, I just feel like I've failed him. I tried to give him the best home possible and there's still at least one home out there that's better than me.
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Aww RD, that has to be a really tough decision. :(
If you do decide to go through with it, don't think of it as giving up on him--because that's not it. You just want what's best for Ripley and if you feel that giving him to this person is the best thing for him, then it is.
Only you know what's best for him, whether that be staying with you or going with someone else...I think everyone here will support whatever decision you make. :)
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*Hugs*
Whatever you decide, I'm behind you all the way :).
~Tucker
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From what I've seen on here you have been a great mommy to Ripley! I'm sure you've always done what was best and now you have a tough decision to make. It's hard and I know you will do what's best for Ripley. You always have! :) (((hugs)))
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aw, RD. I know I have heard about all of your struggles with Ripley through the years (on the BC boards as well). You have clearly not given up on him through the hardest times! I hope you realize that you have done way more with him than most people would.
I feel that if he is going to a family member, who you're close to and you can totally trust, and you believe it's better for him & for you, I completely understand your decision. It's not like you're dumping him with whatever stranger comes along because you don't want to train him, which I do feel is wrong. You have dealt with all of the little guy's issues through out the years and he's going to live with family that he knows, and that to me isn't comparable with "getting rid of" him! =P He would still be with family, and he would still be a part of your life.
I definitely agree, that you should do what you feel is best for Ripley and for yourself. Honestly, I *know* that my sister's Chi mix (who has a similar personality) is a dog that I just would not do well with... as far as living with her, and training her. I am way happier that she's living with my sister, because I am not the best owner for her, by far, and my sister really is - I'm used to herding dogs who will do whatever I want from them, and I do much better working with Gonzo & Fozzie. You being so into your Border Collie boy, just like I love mine, I definitely know where you're coming from! You should take your friends comments with a grain of salt... because, in the end, you know your dog better than any of them, and you are the one who is going to live with him for the rest of his life!
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Thanks :) Erica, she isn't actually family, just a very close friend. We've known her for about 15 years and she's always been wonderful - she's LIKE family.
I feel bad that I DO spend more time with Dakota than I do with Ripley. I spend "quality time" with Rip and play with him as much as I can, but he just doesn't like to train or work (he enjoys agility but on his terms only) and would rather be inside playing with all his toys... I like to be "out and about" and working with my dogs; since Ripley doesn't like that, he gets left at home a lot.
I think I'm jumping the gun, lol I don't even know if her husband has agreed to this yet. Ripley is still very much my dog but this is a very real possibility for him and I wanted to throw it out there. Thank you guys for the support - I was expecting a bashing. :o
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I was expecting a bashing. :o
Pffft, if anything you are one of the far better doggy parents on this board, girl. You do what is best for Ripley and you... and we will stand by you!
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Awww (((HUGS))) RD. I will support your decision no matter what you decide and I know you will do whats right for him :).
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Aww RD!! lol You BAD OWNER! j/k I saw that "I was expecting a bashing" part hehehe
Only Mommy knows best - if His little Highness isn't fully happy living the lifestyle you live, then it would be best for him to live out his royal days in his very own palace with servents ;)
Instead of Rip being the Prince and Dakota being the king - bossing him around lol!!
Its a very personal and touchy subject i'm sure by now for you, I'm glad that you were able to post it on Chaz to discuss it with us :)
You and only you will know what is best for your little munchkin.
Honestly, if you feel that Jeanne would do better with Rip, is it really fair for him to stay?
She sounds like she'd be fully aware of all his "quirks" and how to properly treat him etc etc.
You in no way failed him! Some dogs just don't mesh with some people.
Ex. Crosbie and I.. we dont get along well lol
But, Riot and I are perfect for each other.
Definately keep us updated :) AND if Ripley does go - you better get a crap load of pics of that little bugger before he goes for us all LOL
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You have his best interest in your heart.....that's what counts.
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Like any good "parent" your main focus is what would be best for Ripley . . . You know you have my support - I trust your judgement completely.
Now, as far as the contract with the breeder goes . . . If she had you sign it, it isn't valid at all. A minor cannot legally enter into a contract. ;)
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Thank you all. Renee, LOL, no worries then. Interesting, I'd think that a crook like her would know about that? :rolleyes:
I slept on it and I think if Jeanne's husband wants Ripley too (I don't want it to turn into my house, where one person loves him and the rest of the family hates him) I will let her have him for a "trial period"... She could have him for several weeks and see how he does, and if she still wants him after that, if he's happy with her, I'd let her keep him. I love Ripley soooo much but I can see that I'm not the best home for him and he's not the best dog for me.
I'm taking him shopping with me today, just some quality time between him and me. :) He gets so excited when I get a purse out that he'll fit in, lol
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If you do let her adopt him then Auntie Jeanne has to join the forum. We still want Ripley pics!
Maybe you can do a trial run just to see how he adjusts?
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I'll support you in whatever you do, RD.
But are you absolutely sure that Ripley would be happier? Is he even unhappy with you in the first place? It seems like he loves being a part of your family.
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Hmm...that's a tough one... But what about Dakota? Wouldn't they miss each other?
Just because everything is not 100% perfect with you doesn't mean that he would be happier with someone else..I think.. I don't know...it's a tough one.
I hope you'll follow your heart and not your head. ((hugs))
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Those of you who really know me on this forum and are familiar with my usual responses to these threads may be a bit surprised at what I am going to say but here goes...
RD,
I think you are a responsible and commited dog owner and there is no question in my mind that you have and will always have Rips best interest at heart.
No matter what you decide I am proud of you and fully support your choice.
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Saje, good idea - I will tell her about the forum!
Gempress, he isn't UNhappy with me, but he isn't a part of the family anymore. My dad hates him and recently he's been making me keep Ripley away from him, so he spends no time running loose with the family. If my mom and I are alone in the house he can run around with us, or if I'm alone he can run around... But if dad is there, I have to tether him or put him in his crate or expen. Ripley doesn't seem to mind as he LOVES his crate and expen (he always gets a kong stuffed with food when he goes in there) but I mind and I know he'd be happier if he never had to be separated from his "family" like that again. Some days he spends hours being confined and separated when we are HOME and would otherwise be able to be out and about with us.
Ripley and Dakota also aren't the best of friends. I prevent any fighting between them but there is often a lot of dominance-related tensions when the two are in the same room. Ripley lives to be "the boss" and gives Dakota hell whenever he can, and Dakota doesn't want to back down when he's challenged.. It gets to the point where I separate the two, which leads to me spending even LESS time with Ripley and less time with Dakota.
Despite it all, Ripley is such a happy little guy and I know he enjoys being with me. I know if we could stick it out for the next 2 years, I could move out with Ripley and things would be a little better. But, I still don't know if he would be as happy with me and my multiple dogs (often having to be separated from them) as he would in a home where he could rule the roost and have his people all to himself.
I know he's fine with me but this is a really outstanding opportunity for him to get the best life possible, its hard for me to say no to that. I guess we'll wait and see what Jeanne says. He may not even "click" with her over a long period of time, and in that case he will return to me.
Edit: Serena, thank you.. That really means a lot :)
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I think I need to have a little heart to heart with your Dad, RD . . . . Tell him if he doesn't shape up he's getting the Pork Chop Treatment . . . . a small room with only one door, a raw pork chop down his pants . . . and we turn Shiva loose and shut the door . . . ;)
And Ripley gets to watch . . . :D
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I think I need to have a little heart to heart with your Dad, RD . . . . Tell him if he doesn't shape up he's getting the Pork Chop Treatment . . . . a small room with only one door, a raw pork chop down his pants . . . and we turn Shiva loose and shut the door . . . ;)
And Ripley gets to watch . . . :D
ROFLOL..... oh my... my side hurts....hahahahhahaha
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LMAO Renee! You do...
Well no, I feel bad for saying that. His problem with Ripley isn't entirely his fault, he has severe anxiety/tension issues and Ripley's excessive loudness just makes it worse. But yes he could stand to be a lot more tolerant - I put up with all of his sh!t that I don't like.
Jeanne and I talked today and she didn't even mention adopting Ripley, but she did say that when my dad needs a break from him that Ripley can go spend the day/night with her in her RV. That will be a huge help and it'll make him happier while we are here in this stupid 2-room RV.
Ripley had SO much fun shopping with me today. :D
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Hopefully I can post this without getting my head ripped off....
Have you considered getting Ripley debarked? My mom's maltese is debarked, and she has absolutely no problems with it. It doesn't make a dog silent. What it does is take a good chunk of the volume and edge off the bark. It doesn't seem to bother the dog in the least: they can still bark their heads off if they feel like it, only now they can do it without being scolded by their owners.
If debarking is something that would help Ripley become a valued and welcome family member again, and help your father, I think it's something that might be worth thinking about.
Just my 2 cents...
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Gemp, yes I have considered it (hope I won't get my head ripped off for saying that :eek: ) and I would be willing to debark him if it meant keeping him. He loves to be vocal, and most of the time it's cute little "grrr"s and "woo"s, but sometimes he really is just too loud and he gets reprimanded or isolated for it.
The three major problems with Ripley that cause my dad to dislike him - his tendency to bark, his inability to be house trained and simply the fact that he is not responsive to commands. Dad is constantly comparing him to Dakota and he will never be responsive and attentive like Dakota is. Ripley isnt a working dog.
I do have a hard time getting along with Ripley sometimes. I've never seen a dog that was so dead-set on ruling the roost. My chow mix had a pretty strong dominant streak in her, but even she gave up after a while. Ripley fights my leadership every step of the way, kicking and screaming. If I slip up, he takes over and it is a huge fight to get him to back down and accept my leadership again. I don't know why I have so much trouble with a 5lb Papillon, I've handled a 120lb dominant-aggressive wolf mix with complete success, but this little dog gives me more trouble than dogs 20 times his size have. :eek:
That being said, I really want to work things out with him, but if he'd be better off with someone who wouldn't try to change him, I'd like to give him that opportunity.
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LMAO Renee! You do...
Well no, I feel bad for saying that. His problem with Ripley isn't entirely his fault, he has severe anxiety/tension issues and Ripley's excessive loudness just makes it worse. But yes he could stand to be a lot more tolerant - I put up with all of his sh!t that I don't like.
Oh, that was as much for you as it was for Ripley . . . I still haven't forgotten about your dog and how hurt and frustrated you were . . . Or how hard you've worked ;)